Your Registry Questions Answered

Registries are pretty simple – you put together a list of your most needed and coveted items for your future life together. But many couples get caught up in the controversy of asking for cash, or offending their guests by asking for big ticket items. Here’s the answers you need to know for your most frequently asked registry questions.

Q. We can’t stop adding to our registry! How much is too much? Should we avoid items above a certain price point?

A. You can never register for too much; trust us. You might feel guilty adding five crystal vases or a $700 stand mixer to your list, but guests appreciate having a large selection of items to choose from in a variety of price points. Yes, that includes high price points too – you’ll always have loved ones who are looking to go in on a group gift or who want to splurge. And there isn’t a cookie-cutter registry list for every couple. For example, Christmas celebrations could now be in your hosting hands, and you may need more than the standard number of place settings (12) to accommodate the number of guests. This is the perfect time to ask for things that you and your fiancé want and will need to begin your married life together. And if it turns out that you received only half of your requests, you can work on buying the rest together. No one says that all of the items must be purchased by the time you exchange vows. 

Q. A few of the gifts that we’ve received just aren’t us at all. Is it acceptable to send a thank you note but return them for items we like?

A. The best thing to do is to send each person a thank you note letting them know that you appreciated their generous gift and you’re so happy they were able to spend your wedding day with you. Just don’t mention anything about returning it. Worried that Aunt Sally’s going to be upset when you don’t have that stained-glass vase displayed? If you think she’d be truly devastated, it might be better to keep it around. You can pull it out when she visits and hide it in the meantime. You know your friends and family, so take it gift-by-gift.

Q. We want the freedom to choose everything for our new home. Since we know that we can’t ask for cash, which stores offer everything – not just linens and china?

A. Multiple registries are your best bet and are perfectly acceptable. Guests will even find it helpful that they have a variety of place to shop for you. Register at the more traditional retailers like David Jones or Myer. These stores are perfect for everything from pillows and throws to furniture and light fixtures. Then take a look at on-line registries like whatwewishfor.com or notanothertoaster.com.au that allow you to choose any gift from any store, like your honeymoon flights, dancing lessons or even a kitten! Guests choose from your selection of online gifts, then after the wedding the registry contributions are transferred into your bank account. Leaving it up to you to buy the gifts when and where you choose.

Q. My fiancé wants simple, neutral china, but I want bright, happy colours and patterns. Is there any way for us to compromise?

A. There is a wide array of china options, so don’t give up trying to find something you both love. It’s all about figuring out the perfect mix of your styles. You might fall in love with a floral pattern; he might hate florals in pink but not mind the pattern in a classic (and more neutral) shade of grey. If you can’t agree on just one pattern, mix and match. Or to accommodate both your tastes, take turns choosing items: You pick the plates, he picks the linens, and you both get to put your personal style stamp on your registry.

Q. We’re hosting a luncheon at our new home before the wedding. Can we use wedding presents even if we’re not yet married?

A. If these are items that you have already received and acknowledged with a handwritten thank you, then by all means, break out the good stuff and show it off! If fact, your guests will most certainly feel flattered if you are actually using their gifts.

Q. What is the proper way of letting people know where you’re registered?

A. While including your registry information on your wedding invitation is a no-no, it’s perfectly fine to include a registry card inside the same envelope as the invitation. Your registry card should include details about the name you’ve registered under, where you’ve registered, your registry code and contact details for the store so your guests can find a stockist near them. Most registries will provide you with a personalised registry card, or you can ask your stationer to make them so they match the rest of your wedding stationery.