Wedding Guests: 10 Ways to Ruin a Wedding
The worst things that wedding guests have actually done (and what you should do instead).
by Anja Winikka
1. Speak Up During the Ceremony
We’ve heard the horror stories — the “Are you sure?” from the minister, the “Don’t do it man” groomsmen comment and the vocal grandmother using her time as reader at the pulpit to offer her humble opinion. Yikes.
Instead: If you have information on either the bride or groom that could be a relationship game changer, the ceremony is not the time to reveal it. Any reservations about the relationship should be brought up in private long before the ceremony.
> Totally Ruined Wedding Scale: 5 out of 5
2. Stick Your Finger in the Cake
Believe it or not, guests do this. There’s nothing cute or okay about touching the piece de resistance of the reception menu. Besides the sanitary factor, wedding cakes are expensive and should only be handled by three people: the bride, the groom and the caterer.
Instead: It sounds ridiculous and should go without saying, but if you can’t get close to a wedding cake without touching it, don’t go near it.
> Totally Ruined Wedding Scale: 3 out of 5
3. Wear White
We don’t care if it’s the middle of summer and your little white sundress is the most flattering thing in your closet. Do not, we repeat, do not wear white to someone else’s wedding. Most brides have been looking forward to their moment in the spotlight — as the only one in white. While it’s true no one could possibly upstage the bride, it’s considered the ultimate guest dress no-no. The other colour to avoid wearing at a wedding? Bright red.
Instead: Colourful tones like pinks, yellows and purples are all fair game. Just stay away from anything in the white and ivory colour family.
> Totally Ruined Wedding Scale: 3 out of 5
4. Use the Wedding to Hook Up
Yes, it’s true, a wedding is a great place to meet other singles — there’s a great venue, lighting, food, everyone is dressed to the nines — but please refrain from using the reception like you would a club. In other words, no making out on the dance floor with the bride’s cousin or the groom’s brother. Do you really want to be that guest?
Instead: Hey, if sparks are really flying, feel free to ask for a number and make a date.
> Totally Ruined Wedding Scale:4 out of 5
5. Give a Roast Toast
Just because you have a microphone in your hand that doesn’t give you free rein to tell the most outrageous drinking story or reveal what happened on the bucks night. It’s also not the time to talk about old boyfriends or reveal the groom’s most embarrassing habits.
Instead: Give your speech the grandma test. If it’s not PG-rated and something you’d be comfortable telling her, it’s not wedding reception toast material.
> Totally Ruined Wedding Scale: 4 out of 5
6. Drink Too Much
Your friend’s wedding celebration is just that — it’s not a 21st birthday party. Know your limit and don’t go over it. Making a fool of yourself in front of everyone, falling all over the place or leaving the party early because you couldn’t handle your alcohol isn’t the way you want your best friend’s new wife to remember you, is it?
Instead: Save the shots for the bucks party.
> Totally Ruined Wedding Scale: 3 out of 5
7. Let the Kids Run Wild
You know the scene: the shrieking kids terrorising the dance floor during dinner, the toddler tantrum during the toast, the loud baby screaming over the vows during the ceremony — all potentially nightmare situations for the couple getting married, not to mention the other guests.
Instead: Confirm that there’s child care available at the reception and make arrangements, or leave the kiddies at home for the evening.
> Totally Ruined Wedding Scale: 4 out of 5
8. Spill Anything on the Bride
That gorgeous white wedding dress more than likely cost the bride a large chunk of savings. And while she probably won’t have another reason to wear it again, a drink spilled on the wedding dress still ranks as one of the worst mistakes a guest could make.
Instead: You can’t be too careful holding a beverage near the bride. If you have a glass of red wine or Coke in your hand, put it down.
> Totally Ruined Wedding Scale: 5 out of 5
9. Hit on the Waitstaff
It might sound crass (because it is), but we’ve heard plenty of stories of rowdy guests corralling the waitstaff to dance with them. Not only is it completely inappropriate, it’ll be really embarrassing when the catering manager pulls you aside to file a formal harassment complaint.
Instead: Uh, just don’t?
> Totally Ruined Wedding Scale: 3 out of 5
10. Tell the DJ to Change the Music
At your wedding, you get to choose the music. Otherwise, the tunes aren’t in your control. You could end up requesting a song that was on the couple’s do-not-play list (like, say, one with unsettling sentimental feelings attached).
Instead: Unless the bride or groom expressly asks you to talk to the band or DJ about a song request, keep your song suggestions to yourself.
> Totally Ruined Wedding Scale: 4 out of 5
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Comments (3)
Peter Campbell
As a DJ I get requests at weddings. I ask the Couple to give me a ‘No Play’ list. If someone comes up and asks for a song on that list I tell them its on the list and I can only play it if the Bride or Groom tell me so in person. Usually they go away and come back a few minutes later and sey the Bride has ok’d it. The haven’t asked the Bride and I know they haven’t. When I repeat that the Bride or Groom must tell me in person before I can play the song they get upset, then swear at me and walk away.
MsTha
I don’t agree with Number 7. While unruly children at an event can be exhausting if the Bride and Groom have invited children as well as their parents they are aware that these things could occur. The Instead should be; if you are taking children, then know how to occupy them during important moments and if outbursts do occur, like a toddler tantrum or screaming during vows, pick your child up and move either right to the back (quietly) or step outside. It is better that you miss the moment (most people have someone videoing the moments if you are desperate to see them) than to have the moment interrupted and the Bride and Groom don’t need to compete with your child/children.
In saying that, most Brides and Grooms if they have invited children aren’t to worried about these small occurrences. If they want perfectly behaved children or to be sure it won’t happen then the simple rule of thumb is for them not to invite children as well.
Lana
My wedding was hailed by everyone who attended as the best wedding they’d ever attended. Because it was relaxed. There where many guests and many children but we kept it on schedule so kids weren’t waiting half a hour or more for the bride to arrive, our vows short and to the point while still being loving and intimate and we hired a venue where there was no alcohol. The children where allowed to play and we had things available for them and our catering was “buffet style” which meant far fewer caterers. four years later the guests still talk about it and haven’t been to one theu’ve enjoyed so much since.