Must Parents Attend If They Won’t Pay?
Question: My fiancé's family either has no idea they are supposed to host a rehearsal dinner or they just don't care! My parents can't afford to host (they are already shelling out big bucks for me, so I won't ask for more), but they suggested I have everyone come to my house and have it catered (my fiancé and I will pay for it). Aside from their ignorance of wedding customs, my fiancé's divorced parents hate each other. Would it be really awful if I did not invite them to the rehearsal dinner?
Answer: by The Knot
Though it’s understandable that you’re stressed, yes, it would be awful not to invite them. Remember, no matter who they are or what they’re like, they are your soon-to-be in-laws. No matter how horrible you think they’ll act, you still want to start off on the right foot by inviting them to this party. Trust us, there will be more trouble if you don’t invite them than if you do and then have to grin and bear it.
It’s true that his parents may not even realise they’re supposed to host the rehearsal dinner — so it’s up to you and your fiancé to decide whether you want to bring it up with them or just host something yourselves. The fact that they’re divorced and don’t get along may make asking them to take care of it more trouble than it’s worth. Remember, too, that the rehearsal dinner doesn’t have to be a big to-do — it can be as simple as a home pizza party or burgers on the backyard grill. Don’t put a tonne of expectations on it — or on them. Just look at the dinner as a way to kick back before the wedding, and concentrate on your family, your fiancé, and your wedding party rather than dwelling on what his parents might do at the event. It will be fine, as long as you don’t make it into a bigger deal than it has to be.
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Comments (1)
Claire66, NSW
Wow!! Sounds similar to my own situation. My partner and I are paying for ours but putting my parents down as hosts as they have contributed so much already and we want people to know what a big contribution they have made to our wedding. We’re going to a restaurant where everyone shares meals and it’s BYO so won’t be too expensive.