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Speak Now…

I am a man of not many words, so when it comes to giving my wedding speech, I have no idea where to start.

A quick internet search on the subject has yielded many interesting results. Who you need to thank, what you need to include and what you most certainly should not include. YouTube is littered with groom’s speeches gone wrong. These are moments where the groom obviously found something hilarious when he was writing it but probably knows as soon as the words are leaving his mouth that they are incredibly inappropriate.

It appears that the groom’s job is to give a speech which thanks everyone. This includes the in-laws, your parents, the guests and the bridal party. Surely I could get away with one big blanket thank you to everyone there? Perhaps that is wishful thinking and I wouldn’t want to offend anyone. The groom is also meant to give a bit of background on the couple’s lives together. I think that this is the section where after nine years; people will appreciate a significantly abbreviated version!

Many guides seem to say that the key to the speech is sincerity. The theory is that if you are sincere then your nerves will just look sweet and no one will notice. To me, I probably wouldn’t notice because my mind would have wandered off leaving my body sitting there like a mindless zombie. My personal way of defence against stage fright is to make jokes. If the crowd is rolling around the floor then you can slip in the mushy bits without feeling too self-conscious. There is a fine line between giving a witty speech and stealing the best man’s thunder though. Too often the groom ends up in the gutter which is not where you want to be on your big day. It is an occasion for class, wit and quips fitting of a British comedy.

Have you got any tips for me when I’m writing my speech? Have you heard any stunningly atrocious ones? I’d love to hear them all!

by Simon Prentice


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