As our wedding draws ever closer, I become more and more aware of my uselessness in the planning of a wedding. There are not many tasks that I can completely take charge of which would relieve some of the pressure from my bride-to-be. It has become very evident to me that the role of the groom is to support his bride through the planning and execution of the wedding plan, not to make key decisions.
This week I have been trying to find any ways that I can tick things off from the mountain of outstanding tasks that need doing. I went to the printers to get a quote, found envelopes for the invitations, began researching honeymoon destinations, worked on the music for the day and tried to find any other tasks which could be delegated to family members. It was great that my parents were visiting so I was able to approach my mother about a couple of things that she could do to ease some of the pressure in the last week such as cutting table runners.
While all of this sounds great, when it comes down to it, my bride-to-be has still had to do a lot of the leg work with me. For example – the invitations. She has designed them (being a trained graphic designer), written the addresses on the envelopes (I am a left handed smudger) and will likely have to visit the printers with me in order to check all of the specifications.
I have found that by far my most important job is to keep her sane. Below are some of the ways which I believe men can lend a hand during the wedding planning:
- It is very important to support her when other people fill her full of murderous rage.
- Keep things in perspective by say things like “It doesn’t matter if your shoes which no one can see match the exact shade of the bridesmaid’s dresses“.
- To make her laugh when she gets that look in her eyes like it’s all becoming too much.
- By far, the biggest has been to be able to act as a sounding board to everything that she has to say.
Sometimes women don’t necessarily need men to have all the answers; they just need to hear themselves say something out loud to know the answer.
For any grooms reading this, I am in no way saying that all you have to do is listen, because you need to be ready to help with anything when asked. I am merely saying that if you can’t do anything, you can still help by listening.
How has your partner helped you plan the wedding?
by Simon Prentice