Planning & etiquette

We sent our save the dates out as soon as we got engaged ( 7 months ago) as we are having a destination wedding in Port Douglas. The problem here is some of the people we have sent the save the dates to we have not seen nor heard from in the seven months and now highly doubt we will have anything to do with them again before the wedding. Is it rude to send out save the dates and then not an invitation to the wedding? How do we get around this tactfully? i don’t want to offend anyone but these few people have not even called or sent a card to say congratulations so do they really deserve an invite?

that’s such a shame, but yes, if you’ve sent them a save the date it’s rude to not follow up with an invitation.

you mentioned that you haven’t heard from them but have you considered contacting them? that way you can bring up the topic of your wedding and gauge their reactions that way.

I can understand how frustrating that would be but hopefully some of them won’t come of they can’t even be bothered to congratulate you. save the dates these days are the modern equivalent of an engagement announcement. you’d be surprised how many people lack the basic manners to contact the couple to express their congratulations.

I’m not as polite as katemonster … although i do agree that it can’t hurt to contact them instead.  And if you really don’t want them to attend – lie …. maybe tell them you’re having to limit guest due to budget cuts and you hope that they understand