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Uneven guest list

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Mollie-Rose 3 years, 9 months ago.

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  • #220915

    robin
    Member

    I am concerned that the guest list for my wedding is going to be very uneven. At the moment it is almost a 70/30 split in terms of my family/friends compared to his family/friends. I don’t really know how to solve this problem without offending close friends of mine by not inviting them. Any thoughts?

    #231379

    j_jaye
    Member

    Is this ok with your FI? If he does not have a problem with it then I don’t think it will be a problem. I have a large family whilst my FI’s family is smaller so the numbers will be different.

    Talk to your FI and get his opinion before worying about it.

    #231381

    krystald
    Member

    we have the same problem, we both have big families but over half of mine can not make the wedding. Im with j-jaye, if ur fh doesnt have a problem with it then neither should you. I dont have a problem with our guest list. At the end of the day his family will be my family anyway!!!

    #231393

    robin
    Member

    Thanks for the responses! I think my FI is a little bothered by it. He is afraid there will be no-one sitting on ‘his side of the aisle’, and most of the guests will be total strangers. That seems a very reasonable concern to me. I’m just not sure how to solve this particular problem without excluding close family and friends from the guest list.

    #231397

    krystald
    Member

    Hi Robin

    I can see why he would be a little bothered, the only way around it is to shorten your guest list :( i know its a bit sad but he needs to feel comfortable and happy with the wedding as well. Sorry i couldnt come up with something else…

    #231417

    Ali2011
    Member

    We have the same issue.  Most of the guest are from my side, either family or friends.  FH does not have a problem with it and there is no way I would cut my side of the guest list because they are all really important to me.  Perhaps you should have an usher who directs people to sit on both sides not the “traditional bride and groom sides”.

    #231421

    j_jaye
    Member

    “We have the same issue.  Most of the guest are from my side, either family or friends.  FH does not have a problem with it and there is no way I would cut my side of the guest list because they are all really important to me.  Perhaps you should have an usher who directs people to sit on both sides not the “traditional bride and groom sides”.” Ali2011

    This is good advice.

    Or both of you independently (or with your family) create a guests list “for your side” and then bring those two lists together and see what you get. Equally divide up the number of guest spots you can have and then start allocating. If you are over at the end and he still has spots left then I think it would be good for him to give you those spots as he obviously less people to invite.

    #232303

    I have 48 family members not including cousins on my Dad’s side (because I never see them) who my parents will expect me to invite. We’re only planning on having 100 at the wedding, 120 MAX! He has barely any close members of family, and he won’t be expected to invite any other than his own Dad, and his Aunt, Uncle and 5 cousins he was living with when I met him. So if we have 50 each, that means I am only able to invite 2 friends. I’m going to obviously let him have his half, but if he starts putting people down who he doesn’t desperately want there, THAT is when we will start sharing that section of the guest list.

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