Bothered brides

Share your concerns and grievances with other to-be-weds

robin

Uneven guest list

Thu 20 Jan 2011 08:07AM posts 8

I am concerned that the guest list for my wedding is going to be very uneven. At the moment it is almost a 70/30 split in terms of my family/friends compared to his family/friends. I don’t really know how to solve this problem without offending close friends of mine by not inviting them. Any thoughts?


robin

I am concerned that the guest list for my wedding is going to be very uneven. At the moment it is almost a 70/30 split in terms of my family/friends compared to his family/friends. I don’t really know how to solve this problem without offending close friends of mine by not inviting them. Any thoughts?

Thu 20 Jan 2011 08:07AM

j_jaye

Is this ok with your FI? If he does not have a problem with it then I don’t think it will be a problem. I have a large family whilst my FI’s family is smaller so the numbers will be different.

Talk to your FI and get his opinion before worying about it.

Thu 20 Jan 2011 09:42AM

krystald

we have the same problem, we both have big families but over half of mine can not make the wedding. Im with j-jaye, if ur fh doesnt have a problem with it then neither should you. I dont have a problem with our guest list. At the end of the day his family will be my family anyway!!!

Thu 20 Jan 2011 13:07PM

robin

Thanks for the responses! I think my FI is a little bothered by it. He is afraid there will be no-one sitting on ‘his side of the aisle’, and most of the guests will be total strangers. That seems a very reasonable concern to me. I’m just not sure how to solve this particular problem without excluding close family and friends from the guest list.

Thu 20 Jan 2011 23:57PM

krystald

Hi Robin

I can see why he would be a little bothered, the only way around it is to shorten your guest list :( i know its a bit sad but he needs to feel comfortable and happy with the wedding as well. Sorry i couldnt come up with something else…

Fri 21 Jan 2011 00:53AM

Ali2011

We have the same issue.  Most of the guest are from my side, either family or friends.  FH does not have a problem with it and there is no way I would cut my side of the guest list because they are all really important to me.  Perhaps you should have an usher who directs people to sit on both sides not the “traditional bride and groom sides”.

Fri 21 Jan 2011 05:35AM

j_jaye

“We have the same issue.  Most of the guest are from my side, either family or friends.  FH does not have a problem with it and there is no way I would cut my side of the guest list because they are all really important to me.  Perhaps you should have an usher who directs people to sit on both sides not the “traditional bride and groom sides”.” Ali2011

This is good advice.

Or both of you independently (or with your family) create a guests list “for your side” and then bring those two lists together and see what you get. Equally divide up the number of guest spots you can have and then start allocating. If you are over at the end and he still has spots left then I think it would be good for him to give you those spots as he obviously less people to invite.

Fri 21 Jan 2011 06:55AM

Mollie-Rose

I have 48 family members not including cousins on my Dad’s side (because I never see them) who my parents will expect me to invite. We’re only planning on having 100 at the wedding, 120 MAX! He has barely any close members of family, and he won’t be expected to invite any other than his own Dad, and his Aunt, Uncle and 5 cousins he was living with when I met him. So if we have 50 each, that means I am only able to invite 2 friends. I’m going to obviously let him have his half, but if he starts putting people down who he doesn’t desperately want there, THAT is when we will start sharing that section of the guest list.

Sat 19 Feb 2011 07:15AM

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