Guests & the bridal party

Attending a wedding? Put your questions to other Knotties

Rhi

Should I offer to help pay?

Mon 16 Aug 2010 06:54AM posts 6

I am from the UK and all of my family and oldest friends are still there. My FH is an Aussie and we have agreed that as our future will be here in Australia, we are getting married where he grew up in SA.

I only really want my immediate family and a couple of very special friends to come. Other than that if more distant family want to come then it’s fine (but I’m not overly fussed – we’ll probably have a post-wedding party in the UK to please them!!)

I have given the people that I really want to come over 18-months to save up to fly over, because we know how expensive it is. We’re getting married in May 2012.

None of them are overly wealthy and for them to come to my wedding will be the cost of 10 years worth of normal holidays for them!!

Should we offer to pay towards flights / accommodation etc…? Or should they just save up? I’m certainly not asking for gifts or anything, and I haven’t asked my parents or anyone to contribute at all.


Rhi

I am from the UK and all of my family and oldest friends are still there. My FH is an Aussie and we have agreed that as our future will be here in Australia, we are getting married where he grew up in SA.

I only really want my immediate family and a couple of very special friends to come. Other than that if more distant family want to come then it’s fine (but I’m not overly fussed – we’ll probably have a post-wedding party in the UK to please them!!)

I have given the people that I really want to come over 18-months to save up to fly over, because we know how expensive it is. We’re getting married in May 2012.

None of them are overly wealthy and for them to come to my wedding will be the cost of 10 years worth of normal holidays for them!!

Should we offer to pay towards flights / accommodation etc…? Or should they just save up? I’m certainly not asking for gifts or anything, and I haven’t asked my parents or anyone to contribute at all.

Mon 16 Aug 2010 06:54AM

bronzilla

i’d suggest discussing this with the people that you’re thinking of inviting. i have lots of family back in the UK too, and i know they would have loved to have come, but we really only gave them 6 months notice between engagement and the big day, so they weren’t able to save up enough in time. You’re right, flights aren’t cheap. Maybe with the amount of notice you’re giving them, they will be able to save up for the flights, then you can organise bulk accomodation for everyone?

Mon 16 Aug 2010 08:13AM

nicci

Like both of you, I also have close family in the UK, and they can not afford to attend my wedding, but I agree with Bronzilla, help with the accomodation would certainly help your family to make up their minds. there are some great little hotels in Adelaide which I am sure if you went and had a chat to them, they would be able to give you a fair and reasonable price for bulk accommodation… good. luck

Tue 17 Aug 2010 07:15AM

j_jaye

Hi Rhi

Unfortunately when you choose to have a wedding in a particular location you run the risk of people not being able to attend such as in the case of a destination wedding.

If you can afford to contribute to guests travel expenses then this is great but it is not expected.

We are having a destination wedding and have given everyone a 2 year heads up and are sending out save the dates 12 months in advance. We have expected that some people will just not be able to join us (for various reasons finaces being one of them) and this was part of the decisions we had to make when choosing this type of wedding.

None of our guests have ever indicated that they expect us to pay for travel costs but we are helping out by finding economical places to stay and sending out alerts for great deals on accomm & airfares.

If you do decide to contribute to costs make sure you do it equally for everyone. Maybe offer to pay for everyones accommodation and if it is really important to you maybe ask your parents to pay for the accommodation as your weding gift (if they can or even contibute to it).

Tue 17 Aug 2010 09:55AM

bronzilla

Rhi – due to many of my UK family/OS friends not being able to make the big day our chapel actually offers the service of streaming the ceremony live on the net ! I actually sent out “invitations” to my OS family, letting them know the date and time and then put on a little poem – something along the lines of

even though you’re so far away, we still want you to share in our special day!

our ceremony will be viewed live on the net, but first your email address we need to get!

So they feel like they’re still “invited”, but won’t be physically there. Our marriage celebrant has apparently had many ceremonies that have been streamed live onto Skype for people who couldn’t be present….

 

 

Tue 17 Aug 2010 10:26AM

Rhi

Thanks, these are great ideas, I think we’ll definatley send out save the dates like you suggest Jaye (it was either going to be the UK family who had the travel or the Aus family! tut!!), I think also maybe if I talk to the accommodations in Adelaide I might be able to get a good deal… great tip Nikki!

Also, love the idea of a streamed wedding so that anyone that can’t make it can still be a part of it… I will investigate… never thought of that!!

Thank you! x

 

 

Fri 20 Aug 2010 04:07AM

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