Ceremony & reception details

Hi There,

I am just wondering if anyone can tell me about the concept of a Rehearsal Dinner? I have been a bridesmaid several times and never been to one of these. However, going through ‘The Knot To Do List’ I noticed it. Is this an Australian or American Tradition?

Thanks

A

Totally American! Most weddings that I have been in here in Australia don’t have a rehearsal let alone a rehearsal dinner! Most of the lists and tips on this site have been lifted directly from the USA Knot. It is kind of annoying because it puts a lot of misinformation out there for Aussie brides. For example we don’t traditional have bridal showers- we have kitchen tea’s. The difference being that a kitchen tea doesn’t necessarily involve gifts for the bride. However the american bridal shower is all about showering the bride in gifts (which is pretty obnoxious in my opinion) and everyone sitting around gushing as she opens them!

Same as the information in the bridesmaid section on maids paying for their own attire. In Australian wedding etiquette the bride (brides family) has always paid for the bridesmaids attire.

Thanks J_Jaye. This clears up a lot of things on the list. I have to strongly agree with your comments on the Bridal Shower and Bridesmaids too.

Thanks again

A

As an American bride marrying an Aussie bloke here in Brisbane, I can sympathize with your confusion!  I will be having a “rehearsal dinner” but it will be more an “out of towner catch up dinner”!  In the US, traditionally the wedding party, immediate family and any out of town guests are hosted by the groom’s family (one of the only things they pay for in the US) for a dinner.  Since we have guests coming from all over the world, many of them American, we’re going to continue that tradition!

Within that, I’m with you on the bridal shower stuff….all the way up to the point that we’re asking for no wedding gifts and instead requesting donations to a couple of charities if anyone wants to give anything.  I think on bridesmaid attire, its all about how much of a choice you give your girls.  I picked my girls dresses so I paid for them and the alterations.  They get to pick their shoes as long as they’re silver, so they’re buying those.  I have bought jewelry and will pay for their hair and makeup on the day….so I think its a fair call.

Sounds like you have a nice balance between both traditions. Considering your guests are traveling along way the Rehearsal Dinner sounds like a nice idea.

Yeah the bridesmaids paying for things is a hard one. My FH wants them to pay for their dresses, hair and make-up, while we pay for their jewellery and shoes. I would like to also pay for their dresses (this has caused many arguments). My sisters have a choice to either pay for their hair and make-up professionally done or do it themselves (they are both pretty good at doing formal hair and make-up). My FH is only having one attendant and he has asked him to pay for his suit (this I am not keen on either). I am happy for him to pay for his shoes and belt (or use ones he already has), but I think we should pay for the suit. We have 7 months to pay everything off, so maybe closer to the time we can reassess everything.

I still don’t know what to do the night before. My FH wants me to spend the night at home with him and leave to get ready with my sisters at my mum’s that morning. however, I am not sure if I want to do the traditional thing and spend that night a part. Maybe have dinner with my mum & sisters somewhere and share a room with my sisters that night. Both appeal to me so I am confused. Again I have 7 months to think about it though I guess.

So many different traditions and ways of doing things I guess.

We had the same problem. To have a rehersal dinner or not? As part of the celebrants fee she is avaliable for a rehersal so we decided to have the rehersal with our bridesmaids/groomsman as well as both sets of parents. Then we thought it might be nice to go a resturant after that with only those people (and their partners) and have a relaxing time after the rehersal. The only problem was who pays???? We didnt want either sets of parents to pay since they are helping us out with money for the wedding, our bridesmaids and groomsmen are paying their expenses for the wedding so we didnt want to say to everyone to pay for their own meals and my FH and I wont have enough money to pay for everyone. We did want to do something though so we are going to have a BBQ instead. Where we are having the rehersal is at the ceremony spot which is down the road from our FH’s parents place so we are going back there and my FH and I will pay for some meat for the BBQ and some salads etc (a lot cheaper then paying for everyones meals at a resturant) and we will cook and clean up (since we dont want to leave it for our FH parents). We figure it will be a thankyou from us for everything these people have done to help us for our wedding day. We also thought it might be a good time to give out our presents for the bridal party as well as parents since everyone will be more relaxed and it is more intimate then giving them out at the wedding.