Honeymoons & destination weddings

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to get your opinion for gifts at destination weddings.  My sister was married late last year in Thailand and as she and her FH were living overseas they asked for money or for gifts to be sent to their home.  I was surprised at the number of people who brought large gifts with them for the bride and groom to somehow transport home, and i was outraged at the number of people (relatives) who simply didn’t give a gift at all!  I understand that travelling to a destination wedding may be expesensive (even though the people who did not give gifts continued on a extended east asia holiday after the wedding), however i would never turn up to a wedding without a gift!  Is there a different ettique for gifts at destination weddings?

Thanks in advance!

Hi JDub

It’s great that you’re in a position to give a gift at a destination wedding.  I’m in the same boat – i would always buy a gift, although a smaller one for destination weddings.  Unfortunately a lot of people aren’t in the same financial position and the cost of guests attending a destination wedding can be quite exorbitant. 

All destination weddings that I’ve been to have actually specifically requested that guests not bring a gift, presence alone is a present sort of thing.  I think that this is pretty standard ettiquette…..if you chose a destination wedding and would like guests to attend, you chose to have the benefit of the company of your guests in lieu of gifts.  Some will bring something anyway, but after the cost of attending I don’t think that there should be an expectation of receiving gifts. 

Also keep in mind that most people will holiday after the wedding.  I’m heading to Ireland next year for a wedding and see it as a waste of 40 hours return flying time if I don’t stay for a few extra weeks and catch up with friends….and shop of course

I know some people have a honeymoon fund or a wishing well (google them for invite wording)! but I think it is personal choice. But you have to remember that it is also the personal choice of the gift giver as well. Some people do not like to give money as a gift and others feel like they can not attend without a gift! My FI & I are saying that their presence at our wedding is all the gift we want but I am well aware that people still might bring a gift.

The only thing you can do is have a nicely worded note in your invite conveying your gift wishes or get family to spread the word and then hope no ones brings you a 20 pce saucepan set for a present!

I am having an overseas wedding next year and I do not expect any gifts. I have not included any wording on my invites but I haven’t organised a gift regiestry or anything like that either. Considering people are spending the money to come to the wedding I don’t expect them to buy my a present as well…

Each to their own though…

I was married in Hawaii in May this year.

Our guests who made it to our wedding “there presence with our present” That was enough for us.

Out of the 35 + people who didn’t attend, we only received 1 present & 1 card. That was it.

I did not mention anything about presents on the invite as I thought it may have been rude to ask especially for the people who where attending

What is common courtesy these days???

I know, If I couldn’t make it to a destination wedding, I would have at least sent a little gift and card.

not that I know of.

we are having a destination wedding and are requesting that people not bring their gifts so we don’t have to worry about transporting them back home.

if people can’t afford to purchase a gift for us we would at least expect a card.

I think you have to remember that gifts are gifts, and it’s never fair to expect a gift. They require sacrifice and generousity on the part of the giver and it’s always an honour and a privilege to receive a gift.