Bothered brides

my FSIL is being COMPLETELY unreasonable. she is 30, and NOT married..

we all live with my FH’s yiayia (grandmother) and it is making things extremely difficult..

When my FH rang her to tell her he proposed, she screamed down the phone that he was stupid, and I was a waste of time etc.

Now, when I would talk to her about something small, she would grunt at me, or completely ignore me..

We’ve had guests over for a quiet BBQ and get together, and she came out and told our guests that they have to go, quite rudely.

the final straw was her setting her birthday party on the same date as our engagement party, after I’d clearly told her months earlier the date, and she has no intentions of coming.. (her birthday isn’t for two more weeks)

I’m losing the plot, and my FH is angry, yet hates confrontation.. I really want to say something to her, but it’s not my sister. I’m so confused, and over all the crap, it’s driving me insane..

I did the nice thing by asking her to be a bridesmaid, and she looked at me like it would be the last thing she would be caught dead doing, and said ’ NO, I will NOT, be a bridesmaid, but, I guess I can come to the wedding’

If it was anyone else, but his sister, I would have gotten the gloves out and had s little spar.. ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY NOT SAYING ANYTHING!!!

FH’s mum and dad have spoken to her, and she tells them what they want to hear, and when they are over, she acts like I’m her best friend. as soon as they leave, she’s back to being a horrible HORRiBLE FSIL..

HELP!!!!!!!!

OK the girls around here will attest to the fact that I don’t say this about conflict often but your FSIL is being a bit of a b*tch. But you didn’t need to add her age or her marital status to your post- it was unnecessary and makes you appear a little smug/judgemental. There is absolutely nothing wrong with be 30 and single.

The BBQ at your shared house- did you let her know that you guys were having people over in that capacity? I just ask because if you are sharing a living space with her you probably should let her know. What she did was rude no if’s or but’s. If she did know then she is an even bigger b*tch.

You need to have a talk with this girl. She is your FSIL and you live together so you need to either agree to dislike each other but act civil in public or work on getting to know each other and having a positive relationship. You need to do this not only for you but also for you FI.

Good luck.

j_jaye..

Thank you for your response.. She isn’t single.. she’s been in a relationship for about two years or so, and the family has only just been told this fact, and introduced to him..

I was thinking it was more jealousy that we are younger and getting married first?

Or the fact that there is another woman living in the house?

I just don’t get it.. I’ve been completely respectful of her, when she’s home, I let her have the lounge room, and sit outside, or in my room. 

Whenever we have guests over, we make sure to let her know, and it just so happened that she went out the night we had a BBQ, and came home a half hour before everyone was going to leave anyway, we were sitting watching a movie together..

I try and talk to her in a way that shows I’m respectful, yet not going to take her crap, but she just ignores me, or talks over me saying that she doesn’t care..

Yeah she sounds like a b*tch. I don’t necessarily think its a jealousy issue around you getting married etc. It could just be that she doesn’t like you for some reason or is resentful that you were allowed to move in etc.

I would talk to her and  be direct with her about her behaviour and how it makes you feel. Say stuff like when you do (insert thing) it makes me feel. It is a little less confrontational when you do it that way and she sounds like she would be up for a fight!

Good luck

thanks j_jaye.. will let you know how it goes..

Hi krystalLouise,

Did I just read in another post that you had kicked out one of you BM to have you FISL instead??

What happened in the end? Regarding both situations??

Hi TLOVESCJ,

absolutely, with FSIL, she ended up apologising to FH and I, saying that she has nothing against me, that it was more the shock of her little brother getting married. (he did propose within 3 months of us being together, and we will be getting married 6 months after this- on September 1st) so it was more shock.

FH asked her to be a BM, and she politely declined, saying that she wouldn’t be comfortable standing up in front of people (coming from a greek background I understand, a cousins wedding we went to, the oldies were talking amongst themselves of the family bridesmaids, saying they need to be married of etc- rude it may seem, but in their culture, if you’re older than 25, you should be married, or in the process)

With my bridesmaid I asked to step down, it wasn’t only about my FSIL being a prospective BM, but the way she was disrespectful to my FH’s family. The friendship there is now strained, but as i said on my other post, we weren’t really that close.

I ended up asking my cousin to be a BM, and she is delighted, so all is sorted there, and I will have attendants that want to be there for me, my FH, and our future, not worrying about being the hottest, or scoring with our GM.

Everything has now worked out, and I am SO excited, just over three months to go!

Well I’m glad all is sorted. Through reading both your posts it seemed to be a crappy situation at the best of times let alone going through it about your wedding!