Bothered brides

my partner and i both had kinda rough upbrings and we were both raised by grandparents.

His grandparents are jehovahs witnesses, mine are catholic.

his grandparents are refusing to come if the wedding is in a church other than their own, or even if the ceremony is ordained by a minister. my grandparents havnt refused to come if its not in a catholic church, b ut i can see its killing my nana on the inside. I think its so rude to be enforcing this on us, a wedding is about the two families coming together as one and celebrating. His grandmother wouldnt even go to her own parents funeral because it was in a methodist church. she is ruining her family with it. it is so not christian.

 how the heck are we supposed to pick which set of our grandparents is more important? ecspecially after they have done so much for us.people keep telling me to just do it the way i want to because its our wedding not theirs, but its just not that easy.

(I tried posting before but it disappeared – sorry if it appears twice!)

Family conflicts are hard on everyone and I definitely understand how you are feeling right now. But you know something? This is YOUR wedding day, and not theirs. Do you even want to get married in a church? or are you thinking garden or beach ?

You will get only get this day once and I think your family should be focusing on how wonderful the celebration of the start of your lives together will be. And you know what? A church isn’t a church just because it is a building with some stained glass windows and a picture of Christ, and faith is within a person and not restricted to a specific time or place. Your grandparents and his got married in their respective churches because they felt strongly about their faith, how would they feel if they were in your situation? 

I know you both love your grandparents but what they are asking of you is not fair. And having had a life time of experience with family feuds, just do what you want. If that means Church of England, Hillsong, The Botanic Gardens, Bondi Beach or even the backyard then do it. Because you can’t please everyone all the time!

Basically I would call all their bluffs. If they choose not to come (to whereever you decide to hold your wedding) that is on them. I know it will be hard but you will never please everyone and you need to have the wedding that your fiance and yourself want (unless of course someone else is paying then you need to take into consideration their opinion).

Could you get married outside of a church- in a garden or other type of venue (old house etc)?