Bothered brides

Hi Guys,

This is my first post in the forum since I joined last week and I have a mojor dilema on my hands and don’t know what to do. I’ve been engaged since June last year and we have already changed our wedding date once from having it this year to next year (same date just one year later.) I have been on my fiances back about informing his family sine we set the date end of last year and he didn’t see the rush as its not until 2011. Now the problem that I have is that my fiances older brother is now engaged and we only just found out last night that they have set their wedding date for 6 days after our wedding. How we found out was that last week when we told his family and he asked his big brother to be his groomsman and said yes big brother then got on the phone to their mum and him and his fiance had a major melt down because it conflicts with their date and they are holding it in Fiji. Now no one in my finaces family knew of either of the wedding dates and now I don’t know what to do. My grandparents whom I’m wanting to invite aren’t in the best of health aswell so we don’t want to put the date off. I’m highly annoyed as my soon to be mother in law has told us that we should set our date back so it doesn’t interfere with her eldest boys. Now in my way of thinking if you have family that you know are getting married you ask them if they have a date so you don’t coincide. Am I wrong in thinking this? I know if roles were reverse I would have asked them. So far my wedding plans aren’t going right at all. My future mother in law doesn’t like me, my future brother in law has his wedding 6 days after ours and somehow I ended up having someone misinterprut me and took it upon themselves to be my bridesmaid and I don’t have the heart to tell them no as they are my SIL. HELP PLEASE!! What do I do??

ELOPE!

Unless of course you want a wedding. Me, I’d see it as a good way to keep the no’s down. At the end of it all the day is about you and him – nothing or no-one else matters. It’s one day out a tonne more you’re going to have with each other.

Keep going forward with what you had planned and let the cards fall where they may. As long as you’re both happy with the decisions you’re making then try not to worry about other people (they obviously haven’t worried about you guys). Stay strong and think of the bigger picture.

Good Luck!

Thanks for your input Rellie. After a fair few heated discussions about the whole mess of the conflicting dates FH and I have decided to do our wedding our way. We are sticking with our date as its important to us and I have family that aren’t getting any younger or healthier as the time goes by. If they don’t like this decision then they don’t have to come. We will still invite the family members and friends we want and if they choose not to come to our wedding then its their choice. Whether they come or not we are going to try and have the time of our life. At the end of the day we will have the most important people their and that will be FH, myself and our kids. It is very nice to be able to vent it all out to someone and get some ideas back. It really started to do my head in as I thought that I was doing every thing wrong. Thanks again Rellie. Best of luck with your wedding. 

Go for it Caspa!! Your wedding is not about you family its about the love and bond you and FH share. I empathise with your pain though. We have family feuding on all sides of our wedding but we recently decided that its not worth stressing over. We will send out invites and if they come they come, if not then we will not worry about it.

Focus on the love between you both. As my beautiful FH said to me the other day, the only person he needs to be there is me! (and the celebrant of course hehe)

I had a similar situation… but with the engagement party…

My fiance and i just got engaged on the easter long weekend – and because his mum is in tasmania and living on a pension, we set the date of our engagement party in october so that she could have plenty of time to be there ( he’s a only child – nothing was going to stop her from coming to her only child’s engagement party – she’s been waiting for us to get married since forever – she wants the grandkids lol) But as soon as we told my mother - apparently my uncle had just proposed to his girlfriend and set their wedding date for the same day in october!!! so naturally most of my aunties and uncles on my mother’s side would want to be at the wedding of my uncle and his new fiance and would miss out on my engagement party.

We decided to go ahead with the same date we had chosen – as it is the day after my new mother in law’s birthday and wanted to make the engagement party a big celebration/ double party.

My mum has been a little upset that she cant come to both the wedding and engagement party because they are both in different states,  but ive told her to go to the wedding of my uncles. I would hate for her to miss her brother’s wedding – and all the same people from my engagement party will be at our wedding so she wont miss out on meeting anyone on my fiance’s side of the family.

(and i dont mind if none of my mum’s side of the family show up to my engagement party honestly - we dont get along too well after my aunty told one of my other excentric uncles about a birthday party i was planning that mum told her about - who showed up and started one of his tirades about his world world war one and two theory and how everyone on the titanic could have been saved if they had only done bla bla bla……..to my high school friends….yeah i’m glad he wont be at my engagement party…. )