Planning & etiquette

I am stuck. We are having an Engagement Party in London prior to returning to Australia. We will be flying out 2 weeks later. I realise that gifts for an Engagement Party are optional and in my circle of friends most people bring a token. As we will be flying we will not be able to take gifts back with us. I dont want to say no gifts as people who are going to will anyway or they’ll just give them to my parents to fly out with later on the year. Which is unfair on them, it will cost a bomb in excess luggage. Is it therefore wrong have a wishing well? I dont want people to feel obligated to give us anything, but i cant say nothing as the people who will bring a token will and i’ll end up having to leave them behind.

Any ideas?

How to word?

Thank you

Hi Kim congratulations on your engagement!

Having a wishing well is the same thing as directly asking for cash. Etiquette wise it is considered rude and tacky. Most people on here will disagree however and say go for it.

And etiquette wise it should not be mentioned on/in any invites (wedding or engagement). The best way would  be to spread the word via family, bridal party and close friends. I am sure your guests are probably already worried about buying presents with you returning to Australia.

My suggestion would be to set up a registery somewhere in Australia (like Myer) that offers a delivery service. You can set the date for delivery once you travel to Australia.

If you do end up receiving gifts you might look at shipping them home (I did this when I returned from London after living there for years).

I say go for the wishing well. Personally, I find registry lists a lot more rude than wishing wells because they put a price on what the couple expects you to pay (and it’s not always what I was expecting to pay!), at least with a wishing well they could give as little or as much as they like.

Whatever you decide, I think there is absolutely no chance that ANYTHING could be more rude than tossing gifts in the bin because you unfortunately couldn’t take them with you.

Good luck