Bothered brides

So I’ve posted on here before and got some excellent advice so here I am again.

My wedding is in 25 days and I’m very excited, but I got my dress back from it’s final alteration and it’s been damaged.

I needed the shoulders to have an insert because my bust size meant the shoulders pulled on my arms and rubbed them raw. I asked for some ruffles to be put on the added bits to disguise the fact it had been altered.

I was recommended the alterer by the bridal shop in town (who made my veil, which is exquisite) and I paid in advance because I was worried I’d spend her payment on something else.

When I got the dress back – she wouldn’t let me try it on there as she was having a dinner party, I discovered (First) that a pin had been sewn into the shoulder. (Ow.)

Then I noticed a big tear in the lace of the sleeves. and that the ruffles were put on vertically instead of horizontally, so when I tried it on you could see the stitching (IN A DIFFERENT COLOURED COTTON) underneath. (My dress is Ivory, the cotton was light blue.) I look off the ruffles and the lace sleeves, but I need to disguise the awful alteration work – and now the sides of the bust kind of bulge out, too.

Along with that, I had to get surgery on my mouth and a retainer because it was medically neccessary, which cost us $4500. This meant that we lost a big chunk of our wedding money, and I feel guilty because it was my mouth that needed treatment, and it takes away from our wedding.

Now instead of the catered wedding I wanted, we’re doing it all ourselves (With family help) but I’ve overhead some guests complaining about how they’ve got to come a long way  for “A pot luck wedding.”

That hurt so much :‘( We’re putting everything into this wedding, and now people think it’s some unplanned party because of my stupid mouth!

Also, a groomsman backed out of the wedding, because he thinks one of my bridesmaids is attracted to him. He flat out won’t attend, and it’s hurting my FH. (Especially as the bridemaid in question is in a happy, stable relationship.) I kind of want to tell him he should man up for one of his best friends, but I doubt it would change anything.

And my skin is terrible and dry and no matter how many treatments I get it’s not working so I look itchy and red and flaky.

Can someone please give me some dress/Groomsman/skin advice? I don’t know what to do any more and all this stress is making me wish we’d decided to elope. My partner has been amazing and supportive, and we really wanted a wedding with our family and friends, but it would probably have been easier to disappear overseas.

Kthulhu42

My heart goes out to you. I can’t offer much specific, apart from that, you are marrying your amazing partner, and he obviously loves you, and by the sounds of it, skin, dresses, teeth and cranky friends won’t change that. 

OK Breathe- make this your new mantra- the only thing that matters is that I am marrying the man of my dreams.

Dress- did you take photos of the dress before you took the ruffles off? Have you contacted the dressmaker? Can you find another dressmaker that can take a look at it? Could the sleeves be removed to fix the situation?

Is it ruined? If it is- is there anyone else you can borrow a dress from (I know not the best situation but unfortunately could be the only non-expensive solution)? Do you have the money for an off the rack dress or a preowned dress or an ebay dress or a china knock off dress?

Catering- are you providing good food for your guests? The answer is Yes- just ignore them as they are being rude. Are they complaining because you have asked them to cook? If no then its not a potluck wedding- its just an alternative style of catering.

Have you looked at all options for catering- spit roasts, different type of cusine (think asian or mexican) which tend to be cheaper or even a fancy BBQ (think prawns on skewers, kofta, spiced meatballs/rissoles with salads).

Groomsman- ok conceited much! Honestly I would meet with him and let him know how much he is hurting your FI by refusing to come to the wedding. I would seperate the GM and the BM (as in walk down the aisle with someone else etc, not seat them at the reception together etc) and make the guarantee that she will not talk to him- then have a laugh about it with your BM and ask politely that she avoid him.

Skin- stop the treatments- over treating skin can cause all those things you have mentioned. Drink at least 2lt of water everyday, avoid spicy foods, avoid scented creams like moisturisers, toners, cleansers and go to a chemist/doctor and get a cream specifically for this (there are hundreds out there).

I am sorry about your mouth- that really sucks but its better than waking up on your wedding day with a swollen mouth and a painful mouth. 

If you need help/ideas let us know as that is what these boards are here for.

ok skin i can help with. it sounds like you might have soiris which is common and easy to treat. you need to see a beauty therapist at least (preferably a dermatoligist) and explain everything to them including stress, alcohol, dietary, exercise. current regime and products used. don’t wear makeup right now and let your skin breath.the groomsman is selfish and not a good friend. tell your partner straight how you feel about the guy and support him. sometimes they want us to defend them. good luck with everything. i’m sure it will all work out.