Honeymoons & destination weddings

Hi girls,

My fiance and i are really struggling at the moment with the decision between a large (120 people) local wedding in darling harbour and a small wedding on Hamilton Island. In our hearts we would really love to do it on hamilton island as we went there as teenagers and really loved it and said at that time it would be the ideal spot for a wedding. Although when we ran this idea past my family my dad instantly shut it down with a “Well nobody would be able to come” and then went on to list people who couldnt afford it. Its put a real downer on the whole thing and has made the decision that much more difficult. Do we want a big wedding with lots of people (that will push us beyond our budget) or do we want a cute small wedding with 40 people tops and feel bad about making everyone pay to be there?! I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place and its really not fun! Has anyone else had this sort of experience who could help me out? Thanks

Do what you and FH want and what makes you happy. If the idea of a more intimate wedding away has you more excited then do that. Make sure you give plenty of notice to your intended guests though so they have time to save. Those that really want to be there will do their best to attend. To appease your father maybe you can have a party at your local community hall or home with all the extended family and friends. You can show your wedding dvd and pictures. I have had the same debate with myself and so far Destination (fiji, we are in Perth) is winning. Let us fellow knotties what you end up deciding to do. Goodluck!

Hi Missy,

we faced the same problem. And it is true that there will be some people who simply cant afford to attend. Our family is scattered across four states, so no matter where we got married many people were going to have to travel, so we made a decision to get married somewhere where everyone would have to travel to and are getting married in Airlie Beach, QLD.

My Dad said the same thing as yours, but I think it was the shock that I wasnt getting married where I grew up that caused the reaction.

You have to do what makes you happy on the day, even though it can be saddening when people put a downer on it in the lead up to it. We have given our guests a years notice and are seeking discounts at hotels, flights etc to help everyone out.

In the end it is about deciding whether it will upset you if guests cant make it, or whether it wont bother you.

Good luck.

Jo x

Hi Missy.89

I think go with your heart. Yes there will be people that can’t come, but something has to sacrifice either way. 

And definately don’t feel bad about people having to pay to be there. There will probably be some haters who will whinge, but just look at it like they now have an excuse to visit the beautiful Hamilton Island. 

I think you should just hash out with fiance what YOU TWO really want, work out the reasons behind your decision, then sit your Dad down for a nice chat to explain your reasoning behind whichever decision you have made. He may have just been caught off guard the first time you bought it up.

Good luck and enjoy your planning. 

Have you actually looked at the cost of a wedding on hamilton island, and checked out venue limits?  When I first started considering a destination wedding, I looked there and found it would have been more expensive than a larger wedding close to home!  Flights and accommodation can be the real killer, which is why I bring it up since the ‘guests won’t be able to afford it’ has been brought up by your dad.

That’s not to say that you shouldn’t go for it of course, we did eventually do an overseas destination even though we had plenty of complaints (mainly from my mother) and I wouldn’t change it because that was exactly what I wanted.  But I definitely recommend checking it out and giving proper consideration to how realistic it is for you (ignoring other’s opinions for the time being).  Once you know if it’s feasible, then consider how worried you are what others think.  Just remember that if they’re not happy about it now, it’s highly unlikely they will change their mind.  Even on the day my mother insisted we had ‘dragged’ her to the tropical island resort location.

Good luck!

The small wedding on Hamilton Island, yeah, it’s bad making everyone pay to be there? I think you can have a middle wedding with intimate friends. And then Hamilton Island for your honeymoon.
 

I can totally relate…..my finance & I got engaged in October and have decided that we are having a destination wedding in Bali.  We have discussed it as an ideal wedding location for the past year & are now thrilled we have picked it as our desitination.

All my family live in the UK so travel to Bali would be very costly for them.  When I first told my Mum our idea of getting married there & that we wanted a small simple wedding with ~60 guests my Mum’s first response was “You’ll never get 60 people to your wedding” I was very upset by her response but like my finance said to me….it is our day & we should get married where suits us and the day isn’t about who can make it but about the fact that we love each other & are getting married.

We have set our wedding date for 18.04.2014 giving people plenty of time to save.  I have emailed my closest friends, who live overseas, and told them to date (before sending out Save the Date) so they can start saving.  We are just waiting for quotes from Venues but we hope to send out Save The date cards next year giving people well over 18months to save.

It is hard to think some people might not be able to afford to attend our wedding but I have to keep remembering what the day is about!

I definitely think you should have the wedding in the destination of your choice rather than trying to please family & friends! You could also have a small intimate wedding on Hamilton Island and then after the honeymoon arrange a small party for all other guests once you are home!

Hope this helps!

I can totally relate…..my finance & I got engaged in October and have decided that we are having a destination wedding in Bali.  We have discussed it as an ideal wedding location for the past year & are now thrilled we have picked it as our desitination.

All my family live in the UK so travel to Bali would be very costly for them.  When I first told my Mum our idea of getting married there & that we wanted a small simple wedding with ~60 guests my Mum’s first response was “You’ll never get 60 people to your wedding” I was very upset by her response but like my finance said to me….it is our day & we should get married where suits us and the day isn’t about who can make it but about the fact that we love each other & are getting married.

We have set our wedding date for 18.04.2014 giving people plenty of time to save.  I have emailed my closest friends, who live overseas, and told them to date (before sending out Save the Date) so they can start saving.  We are just waiting for quotes from Venues but we hope to send out Save The date cards next year giving people well over 18months to save.

It is hard to think some people might not be able to afford to attend our wedding but I have to keep remembering what the day is about!

I definitely think you should have the wedding in the destination of your choice rather than trying to please family & friends! You could also have a small intimate wedding on Hamilton Island and then after the honeymoon arrange a small party for all other guests once you are home!

Hope this helps!

So in the end we decided to have it in Sydney. After talking to some people close to me who said they wouldnt be able to come we decided to have it in Sydney. There was also something in the back of my mind wanting to get ready in my childhood home, as i will be living here until we move in to our new home after the wedding.

Just thought you all might like the update! But thankyou for all of your thoughts, they were so helpful!

Glad to hear the you have made a decision on your wedding location! It will be very special getting ready in your family home especially if you are currently living there!

I am sure if I was still living in England I would have got ready at my parents house but I am still excited by our destination wedding!

Have fun planning the wedding! Have you set a date yet?