Planning & etiquette

Hi Ladies….

So I’ve been to weddings before which started at 3pm and then there was the 3.5hour break before the reception actually started and I hated waiting around (it was probably made worse by the fact that I didn’t really know anyone there but at the time my now-FH was a groomsman).

Our photographer has advised us that 1.5 – 2 hours is what we’ll need to get some great shots.

We’re planning to have the ceremony go from 4:30pm-5pm. Guests will be served cocktails and canapes at 6:30pm for 30mins before the reception actually starts. The reception is only about a 10min walk from the ceremony site so they’ll still have a good 1.5 hours to kill.

What have people done in the past to help reduce this wait time or help people feel like it’s shorter maybe!! I have known of people who get all their photos taken before the ceremony, but I personally prefer to not make my see my FH in my dress until the ceremony, so does anyone have any other suggestions? Or is it something I’ll just need to bear with?

Is there a nice bar/cafe somewhere near either venue you can recommend to the guests where they could stop by for a couple of drinks or coffee before the reception starts?

Personally I would move the cocktail hour to 5.30pm. This gives the guests 30mins to get from the ceremony site to the reception site (10 min walk plus chatting etc). Guests can drink and chat together for the 1.5 hrs.

It is considered bad etiquette to have a large break between the ceremony and reception espeically if they are being held in the same place. Your guests are going to be all dressed up and the women will be in heels so if you think about it will they want to be walking all over the place “filling in” 1.5hrs.

Hey j_jaye, I hate waiting myself so I can totally understand… the only thing is that we don’t have the budget to keep the alcohol going for an extra hour…. Would it be ok to suggest that they go to the bar in the hotel to pass time ow would that be tacky too? In which case, any other ideas?

Where are you getting married? Is it in a park or at a venue? If it is in a park or a park very close by you could possibly buy some alcohol and ask someone to distribute it (check council laws on public drinking though). You could just grab some beers and mixed bottles or something like that?

or could you investgate a local bar? I think it would be appropriate to at least spring for the first drink! They are probably more economical than the reception venue anyway (just don’t tell them its for a wedding! just say an event). Just limit it to a choice of one heavy and light beer and a house red and white wine and soft drink/juice/coffee. You might even find it more economical to shift the cocktail/canape hour to there rather than your venue…….or even get some quotes from local bars and then go back to the venue and say well these guys will do it for this and we are inclined to shift to there.

Is there anywhere that you can cut back to free up some budget?

Hey j_jaye,

Excellent suggestion… I’m not sure about about budget as it’s still changing as we speak! Mostly dependent on how much my dress will end up costing! =0P I will definately look into it, I know Melbourne has some mobile bar services that operate!

Thanks! Vanessa

Hi Clueless,

I hate this wait too i must admit.

My wedding is in 3 days (!!!) and were having it at balmoral beach in Sydney. Because its so beautiful around there we are having all the photos within about 100m of where we got married.

The trick we’ve done is to have a string quartet that played for the actual ceremoney to keep playing for an extra 1.5 hours. Weve got dome drinks too, and keeping the outdoor seats from the ceremony for a little longer too. So everyone mingles, enjoys, listens etc while we get out pics close by. We then all walk the 200m to the reception.

Your photographer is right, 1.5 to 2 hours is fine to get great shots, youll get tired after this kind of time and wishing you were spending time with people rather than smiling again. Dont do the photos beforehand, i think thats a real shame.

Best of luck!!!!

We always encourage “first look” sessions (seeing each other before the ceremony) for just this reason. I don’t feel it ruins the occasion, you get a private moment together to see each other for the first time in your gear which could be even more intimate and special then spotting each other at the far end of the aisle Of course, it’s not for everyone.

Alternatively, you could shorten your photography time quite a bit depending on your locations, if you do your portrait sessions nearby or in a single location, that’ll shave time quite a bit. Also if you have all the individual portraits done BEFORE the ceremony (ie bride and her side of the bridal party, her family, etc and in a separate location/time the groom does the same), this will also cut down on the time spent on your family formals, as you’ll already have the individual bridal party shots and only need a few quick full group and combined family shots.

Of course I don’t know your individual story etc, just a few quick suggestions

we have planned our wedding like this:

3.30pm ceremony

4.30pm conclusion/time for congratulations/family photos

4.50pm(ish) we leave for our photos, and the guests join our parents at the local pub/hotel for drinks – 80% of our guests will be staying at the hotel, so they have kindly offered to supply club sandwiches, tea and coffee for the hour (the pub is a 2 min walk from the church).

5.30pm guests start to make their way to the farm (location of the reception) for the canape hour.

6.30pm reception starts.

maybe think of something like this? hope it helps!

Have you thought of having a photobooth? they come with a prop box and it’s a fun way for guests to spend the time…if you just google it I’m sure you’d find one in your local area, they deliver, set up, and have someone stick around to help out if there is a problem.

There is one in Adelaide that I’m considering using retrophotobooth.com.au   check them out and see if they come to where you are.