The Language of Love

I will miss this blog when I’m married. I will also miss the little details of planning the table settings and writing my speech, not to mention the honeymoon that I just know will fly past. But I won’t miss the stress, the endless lists that you can never really tick off, the pressure to keep everyone around you informed and happy and the clichés.

Clearly invented by people who have never subjected themselves to the wedding process and therefore have no idea how engraged a person can become when phrases like “your big day” are coming at you thousands at a time.

When you’ve spent the best part of your weekend, lunch break, working out whether the vegetarian canapés would suit most of your guests  or where to sit friends who you’re worried will clash, small things count. Bridal lexicon (or language) is one of those things.

So, on behalf of all the brides-to-be currently eating carrot sticks, doing sit-ups and sticking stamps to the invitations, could you please banish the following words forever. Or at least till June 2011 when I probably won’t care anymore.

1.    Smart casual: this is not a helpful term and implies you don’t know if your guests should wear jeans and a t-shirt.

2.    Destination weddings: this just means it’s not at your house, right?  Let’s not make a big deal out of it, ok.

3.    The big day: the day is one thing, but isn’t this marriage thing really about the rest of the life you share together? Let’s at least get that right.

4.    Bridezilla: See my earlier post to do my bridezilla test to see if you are guilty of this kind of behaviour. But other than that, the word irks when you’re just honestly feeling a bit cranky.

5.    Heel. Pant. Shoe. Or any other word that normally comes in a pair but has been infuriatingly shortened by annoying shop assistants to the singular.

What wedding words do you find annoying?