Secret Weddings

Would you consider eloping? Bridesmaid Anda discusses speedy, stress-free weddings.

by Anda Damian

Secret Weddings

The buzzword in the office the past week has definitely been ‘eloping’, thanks to our resident Primped Editor, Yasemin Turker (now Trollope!). I can hear the screams of mothers everywhere now, “noooooo not eloping!”, yes mothers of our knotties, eloping.
 
Yaz embarked on an amazing eight month long journey around the globe with her partner aiming to settle in New York for some correspondence work (i.e. live the dream).  We had all expected that she would get engaged whilst overseas – isn’t that what everyone expects? Not always the case my knotties, but people always say it.
 
So when the news made its way over a few oceans to Sydney shores that Yaz was getting married, needless to say, we were excited and happy for her. Being the wedding-y people that we are, of course we were anticipating planning with her and assisting along the way for the duration of the engagement. We would ponder what her wedding theme would be, what type of invites she would have, was she having ‘save the date’ cards?! Surprisingly, a few weeks later we received another email from Yaz asking for a dress designer and mentioning she will be having a wedding within the month! Out went all the pondering.
 
Up until this very moment I have never really considered eloping and thought it was better left to those who venture to Vegas. Now I have almost done a complete turnaround. Yaz has definitely made the idea of a very small intimate and fast wedding so appealing. Ok, I don’t have a big family, so even if I wanted to have an extravagant production of a wedding, I don’t think I’d have the numbers to pull it off. But not only that, there is so much that goes into wedding planning. Some people can take it all so seriously and let it take over their life to the point where all they speak about is their wedding and it becomes more of a show, not something special where the bride and groom celebrate their love. When I asked Yaz why she had decided to elope, her answer was simple, “The thought of spending one year arranging one day doesn’t interest me at all. Hail the fast wedding!” I am all for organising things and am an avid lover of planning, but the girl has a point! People can stress themselves out with all the planning of this one day and ultimately lose track of what it’s meant to be about. I actually find something so romantic in the idea of going down to a nice park with two witnesses, a celebrant and sharing your vows – eloping.
 
My best friend and bride to be, Anna is in total agreement with me however the size of her family (200+ wedding guests) has forced her to have a much bigger wedding than she would like. This topic of eloping has been an eye opener to a few girls in the office. For some it just reinforced their choice of a long engagement and planning was the path they are most happy with, and for others like me it showed another option to be considered; an option that may define my partner and I a little more.
 
However, being the typical on-the-fence Libran, I would like to have the best of both worlds. I would like to have a short engagement and a small wedding with finer details still planned out (decorations, invites etc) – let’s not forget I am a designer!

Where on the fence do you sit in regards to eloping? Have any of you eloped? Has the long planning process stressed you out or are you still excited by it?

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Comments (5)

AnastasiaS


I think it’s easy for a wedding to take over your life. When I got married a couple months ago, I wanted a very quiet, intimate wedding. I would have been quite happy to have it been my fiance, myself and only the priest! We did have our nearest family, and it was absolutely gorgeous and exactly what I wanted. The focus, for me, was the commitment ceremony, not a huge affair.

My daughter recently got married. It was her first marriage, the first child in both families to marry, so there was a lot of desired input from both sides of the family. It drove her around the bend and she wanted to go to Vegas (yes, from Australia!) to marry so that she could have the wedding that she wanted, and not have to give in to family pressures.

It’s a lot to consider. At the end of the day, a marriage is a relationship between two people. Who they choose to share that day with is up to them. There are so many options!

AnastasiaS

jessica12, NSW


What a great blog! I think it’s a great idea. I have always said I would like to elope. Even my mother is supportive of the idea!

jessica12

anda


Thanks for the comments ladies!
Jessica – I’m happy to have inspired you to elope! Let us know what the fiance says :)
Anastasia – isn’t that always the case when families get involved? hehehe Your daughter should do whatever makes HER and her fiance happy :) I wish you both all the best with the weddings! xx

anda

miac


Funnily enough, my sister eloped in New York last week! They had been together for 12 years, and engaged for 4.5 of them, with still no plans to actually set the date.

When I heard the news, I was happy for them, as they were doing exactly what they wanted to do, without having to worry about anyone else. I was also a teeny bit jealous of all the money and time they had saved by getting married this way. Plus, I was so happy that they finally go around to getting hitched!

However, I did have a pang of sadness, as I would have loved to have been there, at my sister’s wedding, witnessing them pledging to spend the rest of their lives together. No matter what anyone says, the party when they get home just won’t be the same thing as exchanging vows.

So the valuable lesson in that for me was: no matter how stressful, expensive and time-consuming it has been planning our wedding, at least I am totally sure that a big family wedding is the right thing for US. We really want our closest friends and family to be there on our special day, and that makes it all worthwhile in the end.

I think the most important thing is to do what is important to you as a couple, because after all, this day is all about the two of you.

miac

anda


Good point Mia!! i would hate for the people closest to me to miss out on my vows. That’s why i would opt for the middle ground – small wedding intimate wedding :)

anda
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